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Do you find it difficult to forgive people? Are you the type that once someone does something that offends you really bad, it gets deep into you and forgiveness becomes very difficult for you? If you find yourself in that category, this post is written for you. Are you a student or lecturer who is searching to know the benefits of forgiveness? You are in for a very big discovery. Because I am going to open your eyes to see why forgiveness is such a wonderful virtue that every human needs to practice daily to ensure that our families, communities, cities, organizations and nations live in peace and harmony. In which ever way you look at it, forgiveness is something no one can ignore. The bible makes it clear that offences must come. Inasmuch as we are humans and live in this flesh and blood, we are prone to errors and many weaknesses. Sometimes you may offend someone or someone may offend you. If we can learn to forgive one another, there won't be need for the numerous fights and strife we engage with each other. Are you ready for this tutorial? Let's dive in right away.
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness simply means to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone who offended you. It is the inner strength to ignore and not count charges against someone who hurt you or offended you. Forgiveness is a thing of the heart. It shows the degree of softness and brokeness our hearts are before God and man. It is a spiritual virtue that replicates the divine nature and character of God. That's why we often say that to err is human but to forgive is divine. Nothing identifies a believer as a true child of God like a heart of forgiveness. We all know that Satan is wicked and doesn't show mercy to anyone who trespasses his boundaries. But all through the scriptures, the bible reveals that our God is a merciful God, He is slow to anger, abounding in love and mercy. He forgives the sins and iniquity of His children. That's how we should be too as children of God.
The Blessedness of forgiveness
It is important for us to understand that forgiveness is a blessing from God. It is a great blessing that money cannot buy. Some people think the blessings of God are limited to wealth, riches, good health, long life and divine protection. That's not true. Forgiveness from sin is a blessing from God. You are a blessed man if God has forgiven your sin. It is a blessing to be forgiven by God. One of the ways God blesses people is to forgive them their sins. The bible says,
" Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile." Psalms 32:1-2
If God has blessed you with this special gift of forgiveness, you become an ungrateful person when you refuse to bless others with the same gift of forgiveness which God has blessed you with.
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Why you Need to forgive people
You may be asking, I trained him in school and took care of all his needs when he was in school. Now he has gotten a job and has forgotten me, Pastor Damian, why should I forgive him? Forgive him because when you were dead in sin, Christ forgave you and died for your sins( Romans 5:8). If Christ died for you when you were a sinner, you don't have any right not to forgive those who sinned against you. If Christ forgave you, you are to forgive others.
Why People find it difficult to forgive others
Any time you find someone who finds it difficult to forgive others, that person is a victim of the following forces:
1. Carnality
2. Ego
3. Pride
4. Satanic Manipulation
There are some believers that may appear to be very spiritual in the church but when you come closer and do a personal business with them, you will discover that they are still carnal like every other man you see in the street. Carnality is the reason people find it difficult to forgive. A carnal man cannot forgive others. The flesh always wants to pay evil for evil. The flesh doesn't like to forgive. The flesh likes to fight back. Any time someone offends you and you find yourself struggling to forgive, it's a sign that you have not conquered the flesh. When a brother or sister in Christ has conquered the flesh, the fruit will be deep spirituality demonstrated in a lifestyle of forgiveness. Let me ask you, do dead men keep malice? Have you seen a dead man recording charges against his offenders? One sign that you are dead to the flesh is a heart of forgiveness. When people's weaknesses and mannerisms don't offend you anymore, it's a signal in the spirit that you have crucified the flesh.
Sometimes we may think that we are humble but we may not know that we are proud and full of ourselves until someone steps on our toes. Don't ever allow anyone to deceive you with any Kind of human accolades or vain praises of men. If you want to grow spiritually, allow God to train you in the school of the Spirit. One of the instruments that God uses to train His children in the school of the Spirit is situations. When you are provoked, how do you react? What comes out of your mouth when someone annoys you? Do you resort to division, rebellion, disobedience or malice when you are offended? If you stop doing the right thing because someone offended you, it means you are a proud and arrogant person. People who are proud and arrogant never forgive others. It takes humility to forgive those who offended you.
It is important you understand that God cannot tell you not to forgive your husband or wife. If your spouse offended you and something is telling you not to forgive him or her, that voice is the voice of the devil. You need to shame the devil and do the needful. If there's anyone who offended you and something is telling you not to forgive that person, that voice you are hearing is the voice of the devil. He is the accuser of the brethren. He is there by your side whispering into your ears why you should not forgive. Don't listen to the devil. Even when it doesn't make sense to forgive, for Christ's sake forgive and let it go.
Benefits of Forgiveness
What are the advantages of forgiveness? Why is forgiveness so important in every individual, family, community and nation? The benefits of forgiveness cannot be over-emphasized. Some of them are:
1. Forgiveness qualifies you to receive mercy and pardon from God in time of Need- Matt 5:7, Matt 6:12, 14-15
Forgiveness is reciprocal. If you forgive your debtors, you commit God to also forgive you your sins. One of the benefits of forgiveness is that it qualifies you to obtain mercy and forgiveness from God in your time of need. If you want God to show you mercy when your strength fails, then you need to show mercy to other people. If you always harden your heart towards people who offend you, any time you are in trouble, if you call upon God , He will not pity you. To always secure the sure mercies of God, you need to have a merciful and forgiving heart.
2. Forgiveness makes Your Prayer to be Answered- Mark 11:25-26
One of the conditions for answered prayers is forgiveness. God does not answer the prayer from an unforgiving heart. You need a merciful and forgiving heart to get quick answers from God in the place of prayer. That's why you need to practice forgiveness as a lifestyle. Unforgiviness can hinder your prayers. Nothing blocks our prayers from gaining ascendance into heaven like the spirit of Unforgiveness. If you want to pray and get answers, learn to forgive easily. If you habour bitterness, grudges and strife in your heart, your prayers cannot go beyond the ceiling of your house. The bible says blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Unforgiveness corrupts the heart and makes it polluted before God.
3. Forgiveness Protects you from bitterness and grudges
In a world where many people pretend to be your friend when they stand before you and criticize you behind your back, you need the heart of forgiveness to shield yourself from bitterness and grudges because of such people. As you move around town or work with other people, someone may deliberately or unintentionally offend you, if you have the heart of forgiveness, you won't be bitter about it to the point of keeping grudges and malice. Forgiveness is a bulletproof we need to wear against bitterness and grudges.
4. Forgiveness makes you a Joyful and Happy Person
If you are someone who keeps record of people's offences against you, it will be difficult for you to become a joyful and happy person. The secret to always being a joyful and happy person is to have a heart of forgiveness. When you are someone who easily forgives, you will discover that you will have an inner peace and the joy of the Lord will just fill your entire being. What is making you angry? What is that thing that any time you remember it, your mood and countenance change? The devil is using that thing to dry up your joy and happiness. Let it go! Forgive and you will see the joy and peace of the Lord flow in your soul like a river.
5. Forgiveness helps you to manage and Retain Relationships
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People who hardly forgive others never keep good Relationships. They keep losing people and opportunities. The truth is, someone may offend you today but will be needful to you tomorrow. Someone who poses to be your enemy today can become your best friend tomorrow? That's why forgiveness can help you to manage and retain relationships. Don't be too fast to condemn and abandon people. You may need them tomorrow. Someone who insulted you today out of anger can also assist you tomorrow in one way or the other by divine orchestration.
6. Forgiveness makes you a better leader
No leader can truly impact people without a heart of forgiveness. A leader is like a mother. As a mother, do you throw away your baby because he urinated on you? No, you don't do that. You clean up your baby. That's what we do in leadership. The same people who criticize, oppose and argue over everything we do are the same people we try our best to build, teach and lead to greatness and success. A good leader is one who has masterd the art of forgiveness. If you can't forgive, you can't be a good husband. If you can't forgive you can't be a good wife. If you can't forgive forget about leadership. To be a good leader you must be ready to forgive all at all times.
7. Forgiveness gives people a second chance to improve and be better
Forgiveness is a life saver. There are many criminals that received forgiveness from the government and later became useful citizens. A bad guy today can become a better one tomorrow. One of the benefits of Forgiveness is that it gives people a second chance and opportunity to improve themselves and become better persons
Don't be too fast to condemn people. Don't write off completely anyone's chance of improvement. Change is possible but forgiveness is what sets the stage for the change. Learn to give people benefit of doubt. A second chance can make the difference.
8. Forgiveness helps families, communities and organizations to live and work together in Unity, Peace and Love
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The cord that binds families together is forgiveness. No marriage can truly succeed without forgiveness. One of the reasons for separation and divorce is Unforgiveness. When we learn to forgive one another, our families, communities and nations will experience peace and unity. Where forgiveness is, love abides. But where there's no forgiveness, hatred, strife and division abound.
9. Forgiveness improves your health and longevity
If a joyful heart is a medicine to the flesh, then forgiveness is the artery and vein through which it flows. Many people today are suffering from heart attack, high blood pressure and all manner of mental and emotional disorder. Some of these ailments may be attributed to long seated bitterness and grudges in the heart. There are many people that will walk out of their wheelchairs freely today without prayer if only they will forgive those they are holding captive in their hearts. Too much of bitterness and grudges can be dangerous to someone's health. A merry heart is like a medicine to the body. Forgiveness is the way to unlock your inner peace and joy.
10. Forgiveness is the key to eternity in heaven
What prayer did Jesus pray on the cross before he gave up the ghost? "Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing". Why did He pray such prayer even at the most painful time of his life on the earth? What about Stephen when they were stoning him to death? The last word in his mouth before he passed on was, Father lay not this to their charge. In other words father, forgive them. Watch this,
"And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep." Acts 7:60
Is there any better way to pass on to glory than this? Jesus didn't die with bitterness and grudges against those who crucified Him. Stephen didn't die with bitterness and grudges in his heart against those who murdered him. Why? No one goes to heaven with bitterness and grudges in his heart. If you want to make heaven at last, you need to practice forgiveness as a lifestyle even at the point of death. Forgiveness is the pathway to heaven. While wickedness and unforgiveness are the express road to hell fire, the benefits of forgiveness pay handsomely both in this world and in eternity.
How to Practice Forgiveness
If you are waiting for those who offended you to come and apologize to you first before you forgive, you may wait forever. There are people no matter what they do to you, they will never see it as a wrong thing. That's how the devil is using them. So you cannot be waiting for him to greet you before you greet him. If you want to practice forgiveness as a lifestyle, be the first to say "I am sorry". Saying sorry doesn't necessarily mean you are weak or naive. Rather it means you are stronger. Only those who are stronger in the spirit can say I am sorry. Be the first to apologize. Be the first to greet him or her. Forgive and forget. When you forgive, put the matter off your mind . Don't make mention of the matter the next day. Pray for those who offended you. Ask God to forgive them. Show love to those who offended you. Reward good for evil. That's how to practice forgiveness as a child of God.
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